Looking Back

As we are packing and going through things getting ready to move to our new house, I have come across old journals from my younger days. One of the journals is from my junior-senior year of college. Reading about the struggles I was facing in those days and seeing the effects of my obsessive-compulsive disorder even in my journaling is a bit sad. Yet it is encouraging also to see how much I have grown and changed since then. How far God has brought me since those days.

Some poetry I wrote back then:
January 1, 1995My Lesson
Trust shattered
Vulnerable, left open for pain
Again and
Again and
Again till a brick is laid,
Then another and
another and
Another till a wall is built.
The wall no one can shatter
Trusting no one
No longer vulnerable…
It’s cold behind the wall
Alone
Lonely…

Is it worth it?

January 1, 1995My Dilemma
Sliding…
Slowly at first
Then gaining speed…
Grasping, clutching
Something to stop
This downward
Sliding…
Slipping, falling
Unable to reach
Anything to stop
This downward
Sliding…
Going nowhere
Downhill
Fast…
Nothing to stop
This downward
Sliding…
Truth glimmers
A ray of hope…
Gone with yesterday’s dreams
Beyond hope
Beyond reach
I cannot stop
This downward
Sliding…

April 30, 1995(Based on Phil. 3:7-ff)
Trash…rot…garbage
Odors wafting over…
Rubbish:
Everything is trash
EXCEPT
Knowing Christ.
Education,
Money,
Power,
Success…
All Trash.
Important?
Only knowing Christ
More
And More
And More…
Goals
Priorities
If everything but
knowing Christ
is Trash,
What’s your purpose,
goal, priority in life?
Is it trash, stinking garbage?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s