I want to be more consistent in blogging about my thoughts as I grow in my walk with God.
The last few weeks have been difficult emotionally as I seem to have taken 2 steps backward. The strategies and steps that I have been learning in how to handle crises and problems seem to have flown out the window and I found myself exceedingly frustrated with things going wrong. Sometimes I just don’t catch myself in time to keep from losing my temper or blowing things out of proportion. A book I finished recently (see book blog) was a good reminder that anger is a secondary emotion that is a signal that something else is going on. For me, that “something else” has been lack of control of my circumstances, not having my expectations met, and having to deal with people that are rude and inconsiderate. I want to be treated right and fairly. That is not realistic in this world we live in. People will cut me off, not let me in to the lane I need to be in, almost run me down in a parking lot rather than stopping to let me cross. My expectations of being able to control what happens is not realistic. I have no control – except over my attitude and response to what happens. God has to remind me again and again that HE is in control. HIS plan is going to be fulfilled, whether or not I like it. Whether it makes me miserable or not. His way is perfect and I am but His servant. I can trust Him because He is not just in control, but He also loves me unconditionally and wants what is best for me. I am not going to always get or understand what that best is. I may not like the situations that I have to deal with on a daily basis. But this life is temporary and His plan is eternal. What matters is where I will spend eternity – worshiping and praising the God of the universe for His infinite wisdom and grace.