Mother’s Day When Childless by Choice

I actually wrote this several years ago and thought I’d re-post with it being Mother’s Day weekend.

My take on Mother’s Day:  Mother’s Day is a great holiday and one in which we can honor our mothers and the impact they have had on our lives. However, for many people, this is a painful holiday. Perhaps because they long to be mothers themselves. For others, their own mother has passed away or they don’t have a good relationship. Perhaps they live far away from family.
For the childfree, Mother’s Day can be a good opportunity to spend time with our own mothers, thanking them for all they’ve done for us. But Mother’s Day can seem artificial and superfluous since we are not mothers ourselves. In Christian circles, most churches seem to emphasize mothers on this particular day, making it difficult for the childfree to feel comfortable going to church on this holiday. Even if not being mothers is a choice that we have made, the over-emphasis on this particular holiday can be difficult to endure.
While honoring our mothers is important, it is also important to remember that not being a mother is fine too. In many ways, we can offer our contributions of being women to society without the motherhood aspect. We all have unique abilities and gifts which we can offer to others. Often our time and money is freed to contribute to important and worthwhile endeavors. For the childfree that like children, being a part of children’s lives while not being the parent can be very rewarding. Perhaps we can make a difference in a child’s life.

And to add:
Let’s honor our mothers while being sensitive to those who struggle with this holiday. While it is important to be sensitive to this issue, I do not think the answer is offering gifts to all women so some don’t feel left out. That devalues the point of it being Mother’s Day and honoring mothers. It just turns it into Women’s Day instead. We can honor mothers, while also pointing out that there are many ways that women contribute to those around them even without being a physical mother. Not everyone is called to be a mother. We are called as Christians to glorify God in whatever we do, whatever stage in life we are currently in, we are to follow God and honor Him with our lives, whether that be through motherhood, through friendship, through marriage, through singleness, through mentoring, through our jobs or anything else that God leads us to be involved in.


2 thoughts on “Mother’s Day When Childless by Choice

  1. I found a post (“On Being Christian and Childfree”) on your old blog from a google search and I wanted to say thank you so much for writing it! It felt like you were speaking everything from my mind. I also love the title of your “new” blog! My husband and I recently decided to not have any large furniture (we moved, didn’t have a truck and it seemed a natural idea) and started sleeping on the floor (this was more for his back issues…but we found it’s a comfortable sleep!) Through these things, we realized it was more about living light in this world. Being sojourners. Our current possessions could probably fit into 3 Honda Civic car loads. It has been amazing.

    Anyways, thank you for sharing your heart. 🙂


  2. Thank you for your kind words! It’s been a journey. I had no idea when we first decided not to have kids how controversial it would be. We are now in our 40’s and married for 18 years.


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