Originally published on my private blog on November 12, 2014:
Sometimes it seems that I have so many thoughts and ideas running through my brain. That my brain doesn’t really shut off but continues to percolate. Yesterday I found myself at work thinking about our church and some things I wanted to discuss with my husband Jono about it. I had to tell myself to stop thinking about it until I got home and could actually discuss it with him. Part of it was I didn’t want to forget the questions I wanted to ask him. But I needed to stop thinking about it and concentrate more on what I was doing.
I think part of it may be related to my having OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). The actual disorder, not the “oh I’m a neat freak, I must have OCD” type. The obsessive nature of thinking about the same things and re-hashing them in my brain is related to the disorder. Thankfully, I’m on medication that helps to keep the disorder under control for the most part. But it does rear its head now and then.
Sometimes I think this desire to get training for teaching better is just causing extra work in my life. Do I really want to pursue this? Is it really worth all this time and effort? But that’s the lazy side of me talking. I think God has given me this gift and unless I’m told that no, you’re a lousy teacher and shouldn’t do it, I think I need to pursue this. The discipline alone is good for me. And regardless of the outcome, it is good learning experience and helpful just to grow me as a person.