The God Who Loves

The God Who Loves

Sometimes the thing you long for
Doesn’t happen
Sometimes your deepest wish
Doesn’t come true
But in light of God’s eternal grace
Our longings and our wishes
Can be a means to worship
The God who cares
The God who loves
The God who understands

And even when the pain is hard
The truth remains
And even when the darkness comes
His light is there
God controls the sun, the rain
He moves in mysterious ways
To bring His will to bear
The God who cares
The God who loves
The God who understands


July 6, 2007


Unchanging God

Unchanging God

Unchanging God, never failing
Always faithful, You remain
Absolute in a world that
Shifts and moves.

Constant, unmovable
The Rock on which I stand.
Never shaken, cannot fall
Though storms beat relentlessly.

Endurance, never faltering
Forever is longer than
My imagination can fathom
Yet You are Forever.

Going on and on, never
Stopping or turning back.
Always the same
Unchanging God.


March 20, 1994

The Adventures of Self-Publishing

I recently discovered that I was able to publish my book of poetry on the Amazon Kindle. However, after doing so, I ran into problems with the formatting. Four of the poems ended up mixed together. After trying to upload a new file and still running into issues, I ended up unpublishing it. Meanwhile, I was working to make this poetry book available in print version on Amazon. Once that was done and proofed, there was also the option of publishing that to Kindle. So now my poetry book Life Musings: A Book of Poetry is available on Amazon both in print edition and Kindle edition. The print version is $4.99 while the Kindle version is 99cents.

If interested, you can go here to get one or the other.

Bible Study Fellowship & Genesis

So I signed up for Bible Study Fellowship this year but after going for a couple weeks, I decided it was not for me. It wasn’t really what I was expecting and it was taking a lot more out of me than I was getting in return. They are currently doing the study of Genesis.

At our church, one of the current adult Sunday School classes is on Genesis 1-11. So I was thoroughly absorbed in Genesis 1 for a couple weeks. 🙂 Here is a poem I wrote concerning it:

God said and it was so
Immense power to command and go
Light from darkness He proclaimed
Plants and earth and life He made.

God declared and made it be
His will set forth for all to see
Creative power displayed in might
He made the day and also the night.

God before time created it
Put man on Earth for stewardship
He declared good all that was made
All glory to Him throughout displayed.

Sin’s Cure

Why do I keep sinning when
Your grace abounds so freely?
Why do I abuse the love You
Lavish completely and fully to me?
You gave everything –
Suffering brutality,
Bleeding profusely,
Pain coursing through Your
Mutilated Body.
All for me – what love is this
That I so misuse?
Deliberately turning my back
On Your gift and saying yes
To sin – that putrid filth which
Caused Your death.
How can I so insult Your Name?
I deserve death and punishment
Beyond imagination for my
Treatment of You.
Yet You forgive –
So lovingly
So freely
So completely.
Thank You, my Lord and my God.
Hebrews 10:26-31


Who Am I?

The quintessential question, particularly for the missionary kid (MK). Our identity can be hard to determine as we grow up influenced by more than 1 culture and place. Poems and songs express this question of who we are. For me, growing up in Bangladesh with American parents, I had a mix of the Bangladesh culture and the American culture in the way I was raised. Also a factor was living on the missionary compound with other American missionaries and missionary kids, a sub-culture within the Bangladesh culture. Here are some songs and poems that reflect the question of Who Am I?

A poem I wrote – Who Am I?

Who am I
That I should go
To be a light
Your love to show
Who am I
That I should be
An instrument
You use to free
Who am I
Unworthy one
Your worth to give
Grace of Your Son
Who am I
That I should live
Praising Your name
Blessings to give
Who am I
Your servant, Lord
Use how You will
My life outpoured.

(below is written by an anonymous MK – found here)
When I was growing up, adults always asked me what I was going to be, but there came a time when what I was going to be wasn’t as important as who I was.  Everyone questions who they are and MKs are not exception.
Who is an MK?  I am a combination of two cultures. I am neither and I am both.  I am the brat who throws a
temper tantrum and refuses to dress native for the American church.  I am the six-year-old who cries herself to sleep the first two weeks away from home. I am the one who complained about eating oatmeal everyday of my life, yet I am the one who orders oatmeal at the restaurant just for old times’ sake.
I am the one who desperately worries about fitting in, but I am the one who wears my native wrap around
the college dorm and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.  I am the one who has lived under strict school rules,
and I am the one who returns to America and questions what my real values are.  I am the one the churches
make a saint out of, and the one some people pity and laugh at. I am the one who traveled halfway around the
world before I was four, and I am the one who has no home.  I am the one who promises to write, but never does because it’s too difficult to deal with the reality of separation.  I am the one who has seen the devil dancers, and I am the one who has seen the rock concerts.
I am the one who knows and understands world missions, life and death, heaven and hell.  I am the one
who has seen God work miracles. I am the one who knows prayer works, but I am the one who sometimes finds it difficult to pray.
I am the one who has learned to live with a politically unstable government, and I am the one who waits impatiently by the phone for news that everything is safe.  I am the one who has spent only three months a year at home.  Yet I know, beyond question, that my parents are the best in the whole world.  I am the
one who speaks two languages, but can’t spell either.  I am the one who has devotions from a French Bible.
I am the one who wears a thousand masks, one for each day and time.  I am the one who learned to be all I’m expected to be, but is still not sure of who I really am.  I am the one who chooses my college by where my friends are because nobody understands an MK like another MK.  I am the one who laughs and cries, sings and prays, gets angry and doubts, fears and questions, expects and receives, hopes and dreams.  And I am one who cares.
I am an MK, and I am proud of it!
–Anonymous MK

Song by Casting Crowns – Who Am I
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
Cause I am yours..
I am yours..
(From this site)

Point of Grace – song Who Am I (found here)

Over time You’ve healed so much in me,
And I am living proof.
That although my darkest hour had come,
Your light could still shine through.
Though at times it’s just enough to cast,
A shadow on the wall.
I am grateful that you’ve shined your light on me at all.

Who Am I,
That you would love me so gently?
Who Am I,
that you would recognize my name?
Who Am I,
that you would speak to me so softly?
Conversation with the Lord most high.
Who Am I?

Oh Amazing Grace how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost,
But now am found.
Was blind,
But now I see.
And the more I sing that sweet old song,
The more I understand.
that I do not comprehend this love that’s coming from your hand.

(repeat chorus)

Grace, grace.
God’s grace.
Grace that will pardon, and cleanse within.
Grace, grace.
God’s great grace.
Grace that is greater than all my sin.

(repeat chorus)

Lord, Who Am I?
Who Am I?
Lord Who Am I?
Who Am I?
Who Am I?

Can It Really Be Christmas?

A night like any other

Warming hands by the fire

Swapping stories, sheep sleeping

Laughter, friendship

In one instant life-changing

The sky bursts with light

News proclaimed

Can it really be?

Entering the stable

A man stands watch

Mother and baby sleeping

Awe fills the heart

Just as the angel said

Truth dawns

Worship this our King

Can it really be?

Telling others

Sharing with any

Listen to our tale

Not an ordinary night

The world’s wait

Finally over

He is here

It really can be

And is.

By Debi A. Martin

Christmas Eve, 2000

Worry Not

I’ve always been a worrier. It’s something I’ve struggled with most of my life. God has been teaching/reminding me lately that worry is a sin against Him. When I worry, I’m basically telling God that I don’t trust Him. That I don’t believe He is in control and is able to handle any situation or circumstance that I face. He has proven His love for me and His sovereignty. I need to not try to control my own life but let go and trust Him to handle things. Worry does not reflect a life that pleases God.

Can God be trusted?
Is the question
What my heart can truly say
Do I believe His promise to me?
That He cares for me each day?
When I worry
I am saying
I don’t trust You God to save.
Spitting on His power holy
I may as well just walk away.
God is sovereign
Mercy tender
Teaching me to trust Him more.
I must lay the care of worry
At His feet and close the door.
God can handle
Any problem
“Worry not” He says to me.
He will tackle each high mountain.
I let go and peaceful be.

Looking Back

As we are packing and going through things getting ready to move to our new house, I have come across old journals from my younger days. One of the journals is from my junior-senior year of college. Reading about the struggles I was facing in those days and seeing the effects of my obsessive-compulsive disorder even in my journaling is a bit sad. Yet it is encouraging also to see how much I have grown and changed since then. How far God has brought me since those days.

Some poetry I wrote back then:
January 1, 1995My Lesson
Trust shattered
Vulnerable, left open for pain
Again and
Again and
Again till a brick is laid,
Then another and
another and
Another till a wall is built.
The wall no one can shatter
Trusting no one
No longer vulnerable…
It’s cold behind the wall

Is it worth it?

January 1, 1995My Dilemma
Slowly at first
Then gaining speed…
Grasping, clutching
Something to stop
This downward
Slipping, falling
Unable to reach
Anything to stop
This downward
Going nowhere
Nothing to stop
This downward
Truth glimmers
A ray of hope…
Gone with yesterday’s dreams
Beyond hope
Beyond reach
I cannot stop
This downward

April 30, 1995(Based on Phil. 3:7-ff)
Odors wafting over…
Everything is trash
Knowing Christ.
All Trash.
Only knowing Christ
And More
And More…
If everything but
knowing Christ
is Trash,
What’s your purpose,
goal, priority in life?
Is it trash, stinking garbage?

Not of this world


My country, what is it? Where do I belong?
I was born in Bangladesh and raised by my
American parents. Then I lived in
America, “my” country by ancestry.
Kenya was my next home. So, where,
Oh, where, do I belong?

My heart is worried, I feel lost and confused.
Am I an American or a Bengali? Or,
Still, am I a Kenyan? What am I?
Then I know. Peace comes. I am not
A Bengali, though I was born there.
And yet, I am not a Kenyan, though
I lived there.

So you say, I am an American. But wait!
I am not that either. So where do I
Belong? I am not a citizen of any
Country on earth. I am a citizen of
Heaven. I have found my home.
I belong.